Wednesday, November 7, 2018

Letter 4: Noah

Alright back to back posts, here we go!

Welcome back everyone! If you're still reading this, thank you for sticking by me. As you can tell, the posts are being put out faster than usual since I'm running out of time. Maybe because of my personality and my ability to use a computer you might forget that I'm a fruit fly and that my days are counted. I am getting older in fly years so I only have about a week left. That's assuming of course that I don't get swatted before that! Hopefully I get to to address everyone in this family and after this one, Jay and Lara are the last ones.

Noah, Noah Noah. Where can I start with him? Happy, still lives with his parents (no shame in that, I still do. Well, my mom), tall, good looking, stylish, can get any boy or girl he wants, smart and is athletic. He seems like the perfect guy with all the confidence he carries with him, but sadly I've caught him a couple of times crying by himself. The first time I caught him, I thought he was dealing with a breakup and was going to get over it like young humans do. Then one night, while I was in the bathroom (not actually using it since I can go anywhere), Noah walked in. He stared in the mirror for a few seconds and started silently, uncontrollably crying. I didn't know what to do. I wanted to comfort him but he would probably try to hit me and end up just bother him. A few minutes later, he went to his bedroom and locked the door. I stood on the door and can hear him crying for hours until he fell silent. I'm guessing he cried himself to sleep.

The next day while he was in school, all I can think about was his fragile stare in the mirror seconds before he bawled his eyes out. In my 36 days of life, I have never seen such sadness in someones eyes. Not even Jay's while Maria's friend/lover was in the house. It's like he hated who was staring back at him.

That afternoon, he came home and went straight to sleep. He had only been in class for a few hours so it was strange that he was that exhausted. He later woke up and just like the previous night, he cried for hours. Seeing him like that broke my tiny heart. I was going to get to the bottom of it.

The morning after, when everyone had left for work and school, I went on the computer and was determined to find some kind of explanation on what was going on with Noah. I combed through my (very impressive) fly mind and realized that Noah's symptoms had been going on since I can remember. I Googled his symptoms and one definition kept popping up but I refused to accept it since Noah is so happy and vibrant around people. The internet said it was "depression" and for once I think it was right.


Now, I can't read his mind so I can't say he fulfills the symptoms of feeling anything but all the physical symptoms, he had. My worst fear is that he has the last symptoms. Lara might be the one I relate to the most, but Noah is a special guy that doesn't deserve this.

I don't know much about this subject but hopefully anybody who reads this, and think they might have depression or thoughts of suicide, I encourage you to seek help. Below I will list free hotlines that you can contact if you would like


Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA): 1-800-662-HELP (4357) SAMHSA’s behavioral health treatment services locator is an easy and anonymous way to locate treatment facilities and other resources, such as support groups and counselors, to treat and manage depression

National Hopeline Network: 1-800-SUICIDE (784-2433) If your depression is leading to suicidal thoughts, call the National Hopeline to connect with a depression treatment center in your area. The Hopeline also offers a live chat feature for those who don’t want to (or are unable to) call and can dispatch emergency crews to your location if necessary

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255) This national hotline is another valuable resource for people whose depression has escalated to suicidal or other harmful thoughts. Their network of crisis centers provide emotional support and guidance to people in distress and are also available via a chat service and a special hotline number for the hearing impaired: 1-800-799-4889

National Youth Crisis Hotline: 1-800-448-4663 This resource provides brief interventions for youth who are dealing with pregnancy, sexual abuse, child abuse, depression and suicidal thoughts. They also provide referrals to local counseling, treatment centers, and shelters.

The very best
Phil

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